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27th November 2009

I woke up today to find my apartment ankle-deep in blood. Yes. You read right - ankle-deep in BLOOD!

Well, let me start at the beginning. Owing to the fact that I had to pack my cousin's wedding invitations to be couriered and finish the illustration for Diana, I had slept by 7:30 in the morning. I woke up around 1:30 in the afternoon and as I got out of bed, I noticed that the floor was wet. Cursing under my breath and racking my brains to see if I had left any taps on, I move my bag and pillow, now soaked in the murky liquid. I open my bedroom door to find the rather strange smelling liquid in my hallway and I am wondering if the septic tank had gotten clogged and backed up. Puzzled at the fact that both the bathrooms are dry, I try locating the source of the leak.

Before I proceed, let me give you an overview of my apartment. It is a 2BHK and I occupy one bedroom. The other bedroom remains empty and unfurnished since my flat mate is yet to move in. Basically I've been living alone in the apartment for over two months. Since the other bedroom is unoccupied, I usually keep it latched. And not being a morning person, the maid lets herself into the house early morning using the extra key I've given her, cleans up the place and does the laundry taking care not to wake me.

Since I had slept rather late, I was quite sure the maid had not come in and I contemplate whether to call her up to ask her to come over to clean up the flooding apartment or to call the plumber to fix the leak, whose source I am yet to find. As I was looking under the washbasin trying to locate the source of the leak, I find that it has seeped under the door of the other bedroom. I open the door and the stench hits me in the face. The fairly large bedroom was filled (yes, not stained, but FILLED from corner to corner) with blood a good three inches deep.

I am surprised that my first instinct is not to scream. On the contrary I am slightly disturbed at the fact that the first thought that crossed my mind was how many bodies it would take to fill an entire room ankle deep in blood. I search my memory for the times I have smelt blood to make sure I am not mixing things up. Well, it's red, it reeks and it's all over the place. Blood it is.

I call up Kish and tell him what happened. I assume he was taken aback because he asks me if I'm sure its blood and whether I can smell it. He instructs me to get the hell out of the house and call the cops. Not wanting to sound crazy I decide to skip the cops and call my landlord who lives down the street. His wife picks up the call and on hearing that her house now has a room full of blood, madam freaks out. Promising to send her husband over as soon as he is back from namaz, she asks me to open the front door and stay outside.

By now I am seriously concerned about my lack of expected emotional response. I am left wondering why I am not hyperventilating. Bloody hell, if I found a room full of blood in my apartment, I SHOULD be going bonkers! No bottomless feeling at the pit of my stomach, no pounding heart, nothing!

In the mean time, my landlord arrives rather sceptical and more than ready to label me crazy for overreacting over what he presumed was a bloodstain or two and walks up to the other room. I could've sworn I saw his eyes pop out and roll under the basin! After closing his jaw that almost reached the floor, the man composes himself and promptly goes to my bedroom and looks under my bed (for mutilated corpses I suppose). Not finding anything remotely dead or dying there, he proceeds to check the bathrooms, the balcony and even the cupboards, eyeing my calm demeanour with suspicion. I am left wondering if he thinks I am some psychotic killer with more than just skeletons in my closet. The man, now satisfied that I haven't stashed the cadaver(s) anywhere he proceeds to the terrace to check the water tank for bleeding corpses.

As I was trying to work out whether the 'things' floating in blood are flesh and entrails, he returns with a sheepish grin and tells me that it was Bakrid and that my neighbours upstairs had slaughtered the goat and drained the blood into the exhaust pipeline. The blood doing what it does best had clotted, clogging the pipelines and had backed up into my first floor apartment.

Let me not bore you with the rather gross but mundane details of how the place got cleaned and sanitized, but let me move on to some rather hilarious reactions I got when I told the story (build up et all) to some people later during the day.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

M: Hey... There's blood in the house. As in the other room is filled with blood some three inches deep.

K: What?!

M: The other bedroom is filled ankle deep in blood.

K: Can you smell it? You sure its blood?

M: Yes! It reeks!

K: Get the hell out of there! Call the cops. Alert your neighbours and get to the hostel.

M: Cops? But I don't know where the blood came from. I'll call the landlord first.

K: No. What if they are involved?

M: They can't be. They don't have the keys. My maid has one though. But I dint hear her come in today.

K: Just get the hell out of there and alert people!

M: OK.

K: I am surprised that you aren't blowing your top.

M: Yeah, so am I. Shouldn't I be having a panic attack by now?

K: You're doing fine. It's good that you're keeping your cool. I'm proud of you.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

M: Hi Auntie, there's something wrong in the house. The other bedroom is full of blood.

L: WHAAATTTTT???!!!! *yes. it was as loud and long*

M: Uhhh... the empty room has blood all over. Could you please send someone over to take a look?

L: BLOOD!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BLOOD??!! BLOOD AS IN RED BLOOD?!

M: Err... yes Auntie, I suppose blood usually is red. Could you...

L: BUT HOW MUCH BLOOD!!?? HOW CAN THERE BE BLOOD?!

M: It's about ankle deep and it's covering the entire room. And it's seeping out into the hallway. Could...

L: BUT BLOOD?! HOW DID IT GET THERE!?

M: Auntie! I seriously don't know HOW it got here. Could you PLEASE send someone over!?

L: Oh... yes yes. Uncle's gone for namaz. I'll send him over as soon as he gets back. Open the front door and stay outside. Don't stay inside the house.

M: OK. Thank you.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

M: Hi. I think I might be in a bit of a spot here. There is blood coming form the unoccupied bedroom and I can't really locate the source.

T: Huh?

M: Well, the second bedroom is filled with blood, about three inches deep.

T: Is it shut?

M: Well, it WAS latched. Now it isn't.

T: Who has the keys?

M: Huh? To the house?

T: No. To the room.

M: No one. The room wasn't locked.

T: OK. So who stays there?

M: NO ONE! I said the room was empty.

T: OK. So open the door.

M: I DID! Which is why I know that the room is filled with blood!

T: Hmmm... Call the neighbours.

M: *sigh* OK. And... err.. thanks.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

M: Hey! Perfect timing. I was just about to call you up.

S: What happened?

M: *gives full account of story*

S: What the hell!? You mean you found the house full of blood?! Weren't you scared?

M: That's the weird part. I dint freak out.

S: Sheesh! I am not telling this to J. He'll ask you to pack up, vacate the place and head straight home.

M: I know, I know. Don't tell him.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

M: I have an interesting story for you. I woke up today and found my floors wet. Tried locating the source of the leak and found the other unoccupied bedroom filled ankle deep in blood. Will tell you the rest of it when I catch you online.

A: WOW! Tell me now. I'm editing all day and night. Won't be able to come online.

M: Well too bad. You're still getting the rest of the story when you come online.

A: :-/ :-/ :-/

M: Muahahahahahaha!!! Feels good to have a taste of your own medicine doesn't it? I am SO liking this new power play!

A: Hope you dint use the kukri on P. Better check with him and warn him of circumstances.

M: LOL! Not yet. But in case I do, I now have a maid who is adept at cleaning up the mess. Blood, entrails, flesh et al.

A: Let me guess... A pigeon flew into the fan, followed by one more, followed by another and another. This is like P's dream of me slaughtering chickens inside a room in the girl's hostel.

M: Nope. No pigeon flew in through the closed windows and committed suicide on the fan that was switched off.

A: A cow jumped over the moon, missed, landed in your room, split its skull and drowned in its own blood and undigested food

M: Yeah right! Don't forget the fork that ran away with the spoon. Any more morbid nursery rhymes in your kitty?

A: Your psychotic flat mate attached blades to the fan and slowly allowed herself to be cut up, fingers downwards.

M: Oh this I like! But as much as I hate to admit it, no. Just wait for the story online!

A: Your neighbour who stays upstairs cut a hole in the ceiling and dropped her cat on to the fan

M: You're right about my neighbour being the culprit. But no hole, fan or cat in the picture.

A: May be your neighbour was trying to juggle three kukris and a meat grinder and missed one. Then her husband disposed of her kheema-fied pieces by flushing it down the loo. The loo must have choked so it flooded your room.

M: Not loo, exhaust pipeline. So close! What the heck. You're almost there anyway. The Bakrid goat got slaughtered. Blood clotted, clogged the pipelines and backed up into my house. But I much preferred your guesses. Far more entertaining!

A: They sneaked in and slaughtered a goat in your house?! Wow! It's like Amityville Horror!

M: Har har! You should write the sequel to the Bunny Suicides. You have a gift!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

M: *recounts story in gory detail*

V: FUCK! Dude! That is so creepy! I would've DIED!

M: Hehe. I know. Waking up to an apartment full of blood was not pleasant.

V: Fuck! That must've been AWFULLY creepy!

M: Yes yes. But hilarious now that I look back at it.

V: OK. Honestly, what DID you do? I know the whole Bakrid story is an excuse.

M: Hmmm... may be.

V: C'mon! spill it! What did you do?!

M: You sure you're up for the truth?

V: Go on, go on.

M: Well, I had been trying really hard to get this guy home. He's kinda shy. I had to make up a zillion excuses to eventually get him to come home with me. And there I was trying to get things going when the guy blurts out, "Err.. I am sorry. But I don't see you 'THAT' way". As you can imagine, I kinda lost it. Speaking of which, did I mention this cleaver that Dad got from his trip to Bangkok? Its beautiful, razor sharp, heavy and made of steel with exquisite entwined dragons on the handle. It's quite a piece of art actually. Well, anyway I picked up the cleaver from under my pillow, looked deep into those dark brown eyes of his and said, "Oh, don't worry Honey, I don't see you 'THAT' way either". Once my hand started moving, I couldn't stop...

V: OK. Enough. That was creepy. But I know you were kidding. Hehe...

M: *sigh* Don't you just LOVE that slight metallic taste that blood has? You know, the rib cage offers just a wee bit of resistance during the first few chops, after that all you feel under the blade is the gentle pressure of flesh...

V: OK! seriously. Stop! I have a twenty-kilometre drive home that I have to embark on alone AND I am going home to an empty apartment. So stop creeping me out!

M: ...and you see everything with a faint red tinge, 'coz the blood splatters all over. So warm, and viscous, trickling down your skin... the screams of agony drowned in by that curiously musical dull thud as the blade cuts through flesh and bones...

V: OK. STOP. ENOUGH!

M: Well, I warned you. You're the one who asked me for the truth. Most people were happy with the Bakrid story. So, tell me, when are YOU coming home with me?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
  • Listening to: Jazz-Saskia Laroo live in concert
  • Reading: The Best of Roald Dahl
  • Watching: How I Met Your Mother - Season 5
  • Eating: Lays
  • Drinking: Chocolate Milk
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:iconmrinalini:
mrinalini Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2010   Filmographer
wow merryn- im jus reading this- its sad tht i knew bout t climax b4 reading t entire story, as u told me. its v well written. i rele lik t part where you have described ur landlord luking fr corpse(s) under the bed!!
:)
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:iconmerrynjohn:
merrynjohn Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2010
thanks Mini :) the whole point was to give the build up... shucks.. shouldn't have told you :P :D
Reply
:iconkish-m:
Kish-M Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2009  Professional Filmographer
:) U did a rather good job freaking ppl out and an even better job penning it all down!! What u seem to have conveniently forgotten or ummm..steered clear of,perhaps, are the extreme consequences of your storytelling :D .. but i guess there are always a few things better left untold.. like the ugly truth behind that lil bird the magician smashes to pulp during his act so that he can pull another identical one outta his sleeve ...tsk tsk!.. just kidding, love.. Keep journal-ing.. we need more
P.S: I hope i haven't piqued any unwanted interests :P
Reply
:iconmerrynjohn:
merrynjohn Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2009
:D ok... but honest to god, i forgot about that particular incident while i was penning. I might write it down today and type it in tomorrow. I have to be fair, for whatever its worth.

Did you seriously just compare me freaking N out to the magician killing the bird like in 'The Prestige'?! :jawdrop: i might have chosen a slightly off candidate for my narration, but i had no intention of pushing the aforementioned candidate over the edge. honest to god.

It is also a little hard to pen in the bouts of silences and that intense panic that ensued, but then again, im gonna try doing it tonight. and if it turns out as decent as the conversations i've already typed in, i'm gonna post it :)

so help me god. :love:
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:iconsayerhs:
sayerhs Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2009
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Was V guddu? :P
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:iconmerrynjohn:
merrynjohn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2009
:D I dunno. Could be :P
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:iconsayerhs:
sayerhs Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2009
damn.
I was wondering how many pigeons decided to committ suicide in the empty room.

Goat, pigeon.
close enough :P
Reply
:iconmerrynjohn:
merrynjohn Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2009
LOLL! half the population I told this to asked me if some pigeon decided to commit suicide and I am wondering how many it would take for an entire room to be three inches deep in blood.

I am yet to write in the reactions and conversations I had with people :D Will finish writing and post soon :P

Your bunny suicides could take a few lessons from that room.ughh!
Reply
:iconsayerhs:
sayerhs Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2009
NO never,
Bunny Suicides can never compare with Bakrid Fiascos :P
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:iconmerrynjohn:
merrynjohn Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2009
Fayin!
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:icond-rat:
D-Rat Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2009
tch tch tch... and my brain went into hyper imagination mode... lolzz.. so much for an unused other bedroom :P

ain't incidents like this keep our life lively, Mer!
Reply
:iconmerrynjohn:
merrynjohn Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2009
LOL! totally! the whole point of giving the story with the build up was to let people go on hyper imagination mode :D glad it worked ;)
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:icond-rat:
D-Rat Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2009
lol.. i am totally for developing this into a full scale story... wr is the libertine and his soliloquy
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:iconmerrynjohn:
merrynjohn Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2009
The Libertine is on his way back from Bangalore. He is yet to read this. :D He would've been able to do full justice to narration and give nail-biting build up. Ah! amateur attempt of this humble muse :P
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:icond-rat:
D-Rat Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2009
ha haha.. u did a great job urself Merr... u gave the true account.. The Libertine would have done a full scale research before writing it down :D
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:iconmerrynjohn:
merrynjohn Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2009
Hahahaha! yes yes. My research was rather restricted to the room full of blood I found. But the conversations that ensued made my day rather fascinating :D
The Libertine is coming home with 10K worth of graphic novels. I cant wait to get my hands on them! I'm telling you! we are just gonna marry each other for our books! :P
Reply
:icond-rat:
D-Rat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2009
i wudnt say no for 10k worth of Graphic novels... lolzz...

Missing Fotographix and Libertine.. Guys went to Blore and promptly forgot me...
Reply
:iconmerrynjohn:
merrynjohn Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2009
Who's saying no? :D I'm all for it!
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December 1, 2009
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